When it comes to love, you need not fall but rather surrender,surrender to the idea that you must love yourself before you can love another. You must absolutely trust yourself before you can absolutely trust another and most importantly you must accept your flaws before you can accept the flaws of another.
Philosophy of Falling in Love

For the first time in his life, Khai is about to attend a speed dating session. Now knowing what to expect, he is led through a journey of discovery and surprises. 

A short film by local filmmaker, Melvyn Lim. 

“Hi I’m an Engineer” is brought to you as part of the CREATE Film Festival which showcases 2 other short films: “Building Dreams”, and “Flight”.

Hi, I’m an Electronics engineer. :) 

The video made me more confident in becoming an engineer. At the same time, its soo sweet :) I REALLY LOVE IT :>

Hi I’m An Engineer - CREATE film festival

November 7 2011 11:33pm

Nevermind, I’ll find someone like better than you.

First day for the second semester tomorrow, yet I’m still awake. I REALLY HOPE THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME I POST SOMETHING LIKE THIS BITTER. Hay. My mind has already decided that I will no longer seek for him. No more. It’s just hard for my heart to accept this. Hay. I hate it. The fact that I can no longer I accept you, it will never be the same. I’ve said it all. I hope my heart could say goodbye. By tomorrow, I should find my happiness within me with all that’s left, my family and friends. I shouldn’t take them for granted. They are the one’s who will be with me for the rest of my life.

11:41pm

Someone Like You - Adele

Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me, I beg, I’ll remember you still
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

Hay… Honestly, I haven’t move on yet. Its so hard. Sometimes, I still cry at night because of what happened. Fallen in love in the wrong time… I was wrong too. It was also my fault. Let just time heal us.

Nothing compares, no worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes and memories made
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste

October 29 2011 4:30am

Yeah, I’m still awake this early morning in the Philippines.

This is my SemBreak ‘11. Hahaha. Sarcastic eh. Fortunately, semestral break in UST lasts for a month. The first week was for the consultation days in the Faculty of Engineering. I’m glad for the result of my grades even though I lack 0.06 to get through the Dean’s List. The 2nd week was for relaxation, I think.. or more like a stressful one. Darn that. Then this no-internet week was for cleaning. Still, it didn’t feel like a break. 

I wanna be free for a day. Just roam around somewhere cool and breezy minus the pollution and stress. Honestly, I don’t really feel like myself. I still have this deep wound in my heart. I dunno how to heal it either. If you are reading this blog, probably you know what the hell is up with me. I just let God do His will and heal this wound too. I wanna go to school already. I want to go to mass there and feel safe in the Church. 

I’m glad I have such good friends who never got tired yet of my drama. Sometimes, I see my flaws in that past, but most of the time the blame is on him. I just feel guilty sometimes how selfish I got too but… I just don’t really know what is right and wrong. I just don’t know.

I hate this feeling that you are so confused with this pile of crap. My heart needs someone who can take care of me and my mind says its not you anymore. No more reasons to get back on you because I felt that you don’t need me either. I feel that I’m nothing to you. 

Oh God. Please help me to move on, without the rebound thingy they say. I know you are the only one I can lean on right now. Please hug me with you warm arms. Let me feel your love through the people around me. Let me see the wonderful things you gave to me. 

As a teenager, this thing feels like everything. Just like all of you did. We always come to this crap. Help us build different relationship and ourselves. I just really hope that I chose the right decision.

4:52am

What God wants me to know today.

I think you know Facebook’s app, God wants you to know. I regularly use the app and try to interpret it in my current situation. Its just a bunch of random quotes that looks like based from our Faith. I don’t find it bad or anything. Sometimes it’s helpful and give me hints of advice. 

For today, it was about unconditional love. Hay~ I was kinda bothered but it was fine. Just… I was just thinking, when will a guy love me once and for all… Being contented with me for the rest of his life. 

It just sucks this sounds so theoretical. However, theories are there to be proven. It can fail but through perseverance and enough experience, it can be proven true. 

Kaaay. After a friend of mine telling me that I’m bitter to boys… NEVER MIND. 

Nobody’s Perfect

I found you so perfect but now I know your flaw. The same flaw that caused my heart break into pieces.

I don’t really know if I’m already falling for him. I know I just met him. But all I can say is that, I’m kinda infatuated to him. I LIKE HIM. He’s like the perfect guy. One with worthy dreams, funny personality, witty and crazy ideas, hypnotizing eyes, his smile. A gentleman, sort-of. :)) I though of him as someone so dreamy…

But he got this flaw. The same flaw. Now, I’m afraid to fall, if he’s gonna catch me or let me go after. Maybe I’m just too paranoid or traumatized. The cut is still fresh. “Poor Xyza.”

I couldn’t think clearly last night and up to now. It’s like I’m disappointing myself. Why am I so reckless with my own feelings? We are just friends, but this feeling haunts me. I shouldn’t be that serious with these kinds of feelings. Probably… It’s because I miss being in love? AM I?

Nobody’s perfect. Everybody commits mistakes. Everyone does, even me. We are humans, prone to committing sin. But humanity is never a reason to be relatively perfect to God. People here on Earth define perfection as flawless, clean, spotless. But that is so ironic knowing that nothing here on Earth is perfect as defined by us. If only I know how to define what is perfect to the eyes of God. So I could accept him for who is or was. God is Love. He loves us so much that he gives us so many chances. All he wants us to do is grab that chance and never let go.

Repentance. We see ourselves filthy with the waste of our resources in our lives.. But it is never late to change. Acceptance is the first step, repentance is second. Repentance comes with Metanoia, the change of heart and mind. You need to change for the good, because nothing good come from what is bad. The end does not justifies the means. 

Even though we are just friends, I just want the best for you. I just met you, but I don’t wanna let go. YET. I want to know you more and try to understand. This is a risk to take, but if its meant to be,  it should be.